Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
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I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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