Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
