Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
