To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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