This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
