I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
