I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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