Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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