All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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