I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
