physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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