You work out of a Hotel?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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