i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
