I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
