You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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