Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
