just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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