OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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