Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
