Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
