I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
