No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
