My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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