Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize