Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
