Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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