you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I want her autograph on my taint
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
