The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
