We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize