Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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