I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You may now shotgun with the bride
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
