last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
