I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
