Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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