bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
