I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
