I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
