small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
