im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
