i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
