do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
