my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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