yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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