the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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