He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
