We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
