Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
