You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
