At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
