Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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