well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize