we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
