it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
