What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
