Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
