I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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