Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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