is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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