Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
