Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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