I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
