Kiss
Puke
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
